A woman calls out a sauce stain on her shirt to control the narrative

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NEWPORT NEWS, VA — Impressing all onlookers with her powerful ability to shape the narrative, local woman Ainsley Bishop reportedly pointed out a sauce stain on her shirt on Tuesday in an effort to control the narrative. “Yeah, I know I have a stain on my shirt – it’s from lunch,” Bishop said of the ketchup stain on his garment in a masterful display of rhetorical supremacy, following up his uplifting appeal of a flippant joke about deliberately buying the stained shirt this way to prevent potential attempts by someone else to take control of its story and its truth. “Before you say anything, Pete, I’m going to stop you there – yes, I’m aware that the position of the stain on my shirt makes it look like it’s leaking from my chest, and frankly, if that’s If it were, there would be nothing wrong with that. We are all fallible human beings occupying fragile, often humiliating bodies, and sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes things happen that escape our our control, and yes, sometimes balls of ketchup fall out of a burger and stain our shirts, and honestly, I think that’s beautiful.At press time, Bishop had accused his colleague of whataboutism after recalling that he hadn’t said anything about a male colleague who had spinach stuck in his teeth.

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